theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize