Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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