Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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