Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize