I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize