my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize