I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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