So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize