and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize