i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't turn off my feet"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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