I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize