When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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