Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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