Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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