i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Text me some of your sweat
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