I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize