Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize