So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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