Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize