Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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