I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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