Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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