so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No subtext here. People are naked.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize