the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize