I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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