Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
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A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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