I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize