i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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