so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
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Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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