we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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