think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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