My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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