If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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