Jerry, you need to find god
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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