This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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