i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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