i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize