chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the liver wants what the liver wants
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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