Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wannas sexs uuuuu
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize