She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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