all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
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this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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