No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize