Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize