Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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