well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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