I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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