I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize