His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize