Umm I'm too high to move.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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