How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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